You want to know what’s funny? I want to write a book. Well, I guess that’s not funny. The funny part, or sad if you look at it through different glasses, is that the book has been talked about but no real action has been done. I’ve talked the talk for 2 years now, but there’s been no walking the walk.
I guess the fact that I know exactly what I want to write about and haven’t yet taken the plunge would give you a chuckle or a head shake. The fact that I know it’s in God's plan for my life to do so, and I’ve stalled is a total bummer on my end.
It just hasn’t happened yet, and I don’t really know what’s stopping me.
And I’ve been wondering lately if the reason I haven’t done it is because there is still more to the story. More that I need to live out before it all clicks together.
I’ve read 4 books about marriage. Three of them were Bible Studies on how to become the wife God created me to be. And one was a book about a struggling marriage and how God restored it. These readings are on top of reading the one true book of all our life's issues: the Bible itself. (Can I get an Amen?)
So you can say I’ve studied how to be a Godly wife more than I’ve studied anything else in my walk with God. And that just so happens to be what I’ve always wanted to write my book on: my marriage.
Our marriage is our testimony. Our vows is what brought us to Christ. Our promises to each other is what eventually taught us what God’s promises for us are. Our marriage staying in tack, is what brought us our eternal salvation, and there is no greater blessing.
But the book hasn’t happened yet. The book about our story holds blank pages. Pages that are already filled in my heart and my mind, but ones that are stuck there. Words that are full of hope and promise, but unable to be shared.
So what’s the problem?
What IS stopping me?
I’m not here to give you the answer to that, because I don't even know it. What I am here to say is that I’m still working on it. I’m still walking aimlessly in the “I have a dream” department and not the “I am finished” part. But I am not giving up hope or the dream itself.
I’m still working on Becoming Mrs. Betterhalf (Holly Furtick’s book) and I’m still asking myself ‘What it’s like to be Married to Me’ (Linda Dillow’s book) and I’m still striving to be an 'Excellent Wife' (Martha Peace’s book).
And I’ll still dream and plan and write towards my own book one day.
But above all I’m taking Gods lead in my journey:
"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
Even if my story is only being written in my home for now..that’s where my action will be.
So as I continue to embark on this book journey (that will be written someday), I am excited for what God is doing RIGHT now.
You see I’m someone that loves to live in the future, but I’m soaking in and lingering in the goodness God is showing me now-in the present. And maybe that’s part of what’s stopping me. I need more skin in the game.
Either way, God is teaching me, leading me, and despite myself-He is changing me. I am not the wife I want to be, but I am so much closer then where I was 3 years ago. (Hallelujah)
And that’s the big take away friends, time.
He holds time in His hands. And if that’s His job, what’s ours? Our job is to do the work in between the time He freely gives.
Maybe for you becoming Mrs. Betterhalf isn’t in your radar...so what is?
I bet you have a dream too. One that stirs in your heart. One that makes your heart flutter when you think about it. Or like me, one that’s a burden on your shoulders that you JUST KNOW needs to be done.
Do you have a dream? A calling?
I know you do. Even if it’s been buried deep down.
Friend, you have one.
And I encourage you to think about what’s stopping you too.