Ruthless Pursuit

I’ve been itching to slow down lately. And when I say lately it’s been years. And when I say itching it’s more like battling. Ok, let me start over.

I’ve been battling myself for years now to slow down. That’s better.

This urgency to be more intentional, to set a slower pace, to be present and in turn more fulfilled, has been weighing on my chest for more time than I’d like to admit.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or is it just me?

And this is not “quarantine made me realize” or “2020 has brought this new me on”. Nope, not at all. Quarantine was the opposite. It made me want to move faster because I was forced to be still. But the urgency to slow down was prominent through it all because of that weight bearing down. Or should I say building up from within. And since that innate feeling has not be lifted or put out, that means I need to dig in and find out why.

This need to slow and be intentional is deeper than clearing my schedule and putting my phone away at night during family time. It’s a burning deep within that’s telling me that the way I live my day to day, is not how it should be.

Do you ever feel like your running in circles with no place to go?

Do you ever feel like you’re in a race and there’s no end or prize in sight?

Do you ever feel like your climbing the wrong mountain?