One thing I need today is vision. No scratch that, I have plenty of vision. I need direction.
I’m feeling a bit scatter-brained and my legs are running fast to nowhere. Like I’m running on a track going around and around, and making progress with my mile count, but no head way in actually relocating to a new place.
That word feels so out of reach right now. Like an elusive snow leopard that you know is out there, but only the real animal hunters will find it. Elusive snow leopards are spotted by people that know what to look for, that know where to find them, and that have the skill and know how of getting what they want.
I am not there. No elusive snow leopard is in my future. No hunting down paw prints or using cool binoculars while my heart beats faster trying to chase down the catch.
The only paw prints I’ve seen recently are those of my hairy dog and Blue Clues’ Birthday book.
Awe, the thrill of the chase.
That reminds me of a dream I’ve always wanted to accomplish. A bucket list item, is a better way of putting it. And since we are talking about vision and direction, I feel like it’s a good one to bring up.
I’ve always dreamed of packing a suitcase filled with bathing suits and jackets, and heading to the airport and buying the first ticket out of there.
The suspense of not knowing where’d you go, but being prepared anyway makes my adventurous heart flutter. I would have tropical and cold weather approved clothes packed, and friend, I would be ready to jet set away on a spontaneous getaway.
Let me switch the script of my audacious day dreaming, and be glass half empty for a second.
There’s a few red flags here and I should point them out:
1. There’s no way a carry on (because that’s what jet setters use) would fit jacket(s) and bathing suits in it. Jackets mean boots and bathing suits mean an array of tropical approved attire to go with it. Example: dresses, coverups, wedges, sandals....
2. Do you have the bank roll to pick the first flight outta there? Probably not...
New vision: Hi! Can I see a list of the next 5 flights and their prices please?
3. What if the next flight is in your same state? Or headed to some corn field in the middle of Iowa? Nothing against Iowa or corn, it just doesn’t fit my jet setter vision.
You know, when you dream of this you dream big adventurous scenes that involve clear waters in Bora Bora or hanging out with Koala Bears and Kangaroos in Sydney, Australia. (I obviously need more travel time)
4. The fourth red flag is direction. No matter how prepared you think you are, or how ready your heart is for adventure, not knowing WHERE you're headed is a hard pill to swallow when it comes to things that don’t involve bag check-ins and airplane snacks.
And not only that, not knowing your direction takes away the chance to make a “How do I get there” list.
Can you tell that I’m a planner? A control freak that needs to be in the know and make a detailed list of how things should pan out and how it will all go?
The Koala Bears would understand.
Back to reality, Steph.
So today I need direction. And no matter how many times I say to myself that God is in control, and no matter how many times I pray for Him to take over my plans, I still feel the desire to pick my own destination and lay out my own way of getting there.
In reality, my bags aren’t packed with sandals and snow boots. It’s packed with one set of clothes and my boarding pass was printed out the night before. And to be completely honest, my purse is overflowing with my own snacks for the plane ride because I know I won’t like theirs.
That’s my reality. I’m always trying to control the climate and when it comes to right here and right now, I’m lost because I just don’t know which way to go.
It’s like I keep typing in direction addresses in Google maps but not one sits well with my heart. I mean, Dora the Explorer had a cool backpack and a map. I need that in my life.
And now you have that song in your head. You are most welcome.
God, I know You’re listening, and I know You’re reading this, so I’m praying for two things:
1. That you are laughing at my jokes. (Thanks for making me think I’m funny) and
2. That I truly stop, drop, roll and lay there listening to the direction You want me to take.
Direction, Lord. I need it badly. And I’m praying I receive some soon. Even though I know You want me to buy the first ticket out. Even though I don’t even need a suitcase when it comes to You. Even though I know at times the direction You are leading me in...I still need Your voice constantly nudging me.
And maybe that’s the whole point of this. A lesson in listening. A lesson in truly hearing what You want. In not only opening my heart and mind, but first opening my ears to Your voice. A lesson that no matter what the first ticket out of there is, Bora Bora or Iowa, that it’s the exact flight You meant for me to catch.